-
- I used to work in Chicago
- In an Old Department Store
- I used to work in Chicago -
- Don't work there anymore!
-
- A lady came in and asked for some bolts
- Some bolts from the store?
-
- Some bolts she wanted, my nuts she got !
- Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! I don't work there any more!
The song's further verses replace the words in bold for other items and actions, such as:
-
- Meat / Sausage
- Fishing Rod / Pole
- Helicopter / Chopper
- Carpet / Shag
- DVD / Aladdin
- Beef / Pork
- Golf Set / A Hole In One
- Camel / Hump
- Fabric / Felt
- Beer / 6 Pack
- Plastic / Rubbers
- Translator / Cunning Linguist
- Glased Doughnut / Cream Filled
- Power Drill / Drilled
- Black & Decker drill / Decked
- Screwdriver / Screwed
- Gun / Banged
- Metaphysical conversation / Fucked
- Sailors / Seamen
- Pipe / Hosing
- Stockings / Hosing
- Liquor Plumber / Pipes Cleaned
- Butter / Spread
- Elevator / Shafted
- Quebec Poutine / Hot Sauce
- Jewelry / Pearl necklace
- Pimp Rod / Magic Stick
- Assistance / AIDs
- Fresh Fruits / Dirty Banana
- Latex Gloves / Dick in a Rubber
- A trunk road from Newcastle to Carlisle / A69
- An Umbrella/ We didn't have one, so I screwed her/him anyway!
- Semi-aquatic mammal / Beaver
- Pirate ship / Jolly rogering
- Ruler / 12 inches
- Water / all wet
- the alphabet / HIV
- Mashed potatoes / a stuffing
- Rooster / cock
- ham / porking
- dessert / cherry cheese cake
- seafood / crabs
- ovation / the clap
- apples / her cherry I took
- burgers / sausage
- barbecue / spit roast
- hammer / nailed
- nail / screwed
- screen door / back door
- surprise / shocker
- encyclopedia / my index
- tudor style / a-frame
- whale / free willy
- double kit-kat / 4 fingers
- liquor / lick her
- manicure / facial
- Oriental Monocle/ Jap's Eye
- Silver Bathroom Fittings/ Golden Shower
- Orgasm/ Who cares what she got
- Bannister / Railing
- A german method of coal extraction / Mine Shaft
- Sprite / 7-UP
- Shotgun / Her Pump Action I got
- Bowling ball / 3 fingers and thrown in the gutter
- Public speaker / Master debator
- Right Honorable Gentleman / Upstanding member
- Extension Cord / The Shocker
- One Minute Man / (Person's name)
- Apple pie / Cream pie
- Oh Henry / Mr. Big
- Big Mac/ My Whopper
- Calendar / 9 Months
- Skeleton / Boner
- Bible / Missionary
- Abortion / Kicked down the stairs
- Orgasm / Who cares
- Mr Clean / Dirty Sanchez
- Big Mac / My special sauce
- Cottage Cheese / My Smegma
- Pickup Truck / Ramme